were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
