i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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