watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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