I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Im part way to drunk.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
