booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
