I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My vagina is very pro this idea
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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