at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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