Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
