So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
not ubering you a puppy
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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