that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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