No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
