i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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