then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
