Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's shark week go big or go home
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
