yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
