Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
