My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
