it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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