Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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