The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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