my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
