It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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