I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
