I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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