Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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