yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
