if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
