i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
operation have a gay friend backfired
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
