i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
nutella sex= disaster
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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