When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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