Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
