That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
