i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
