no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
