That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
