You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
