Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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