oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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