would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
