you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
