So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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