she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
