I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
