I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
