Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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