If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
