Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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