Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I would fuck him just for his dog
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