pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
