Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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