# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
