I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
