found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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